The other day as I began transitioning my closet, bringing in the warm-weather clothes and packing away the winter items, I looked at an item I loved but barely wore last summer. For a moment I wondered why it didn’t get as much play as I expected it to when the item entered my closet. As I looked at the item I realized it was tied to a negative comment. As a result, subconsciously I made the decision not to wear it. I vowed then to wear it this season and rediscover my love with the item.
Let’s be honest there are numerous negative experiences in our lives. A misspoken comment, a well-meaning friend who says something that hurts, strangers who feel they have the right to tell us something and often in a cruel way. Overcoming those moments, rising above them is a challenge but one worth taking.
This week, FBFF bloggers are discussing how they overcome negativity in both the blogosphere and in life….
Arash of Arash Mazinani:
Although I’m not a OOTD type blogger I’ve certainly experienced negative comments from people on my own style journey. It can be difficult at times. When I work with clients it’s usually the fear of being judged that holds people back from wearing what they really want to wear or trying new things. It happens not just when it comes to clothes, but any sort of change. People fear what they view as different and if you suddenly have a dramatic change or start trying new things then sometimes you’ll get some negativity.
The best thing to do is seek people who are similar to you, so look for others that are into fashion and personal style or just personal development they’ll actually encourage what you do. Also ignore the people that give you negativity, I’ve always found it’s a small few and the majority of your peers and friends actually like it when you change your style and start to wear more unusually or expressive things.
I still remember the first time I received super hateful/cruel ‘feedback’ about my blog. I spent a week totally devastated and contemplated giving it all up. As I contemplated the future of my blog, I realized a couple things: One – my worth is not determined by someone’s opinion of who I am or what I do. Two – It is literally impossible to please everyone and that’s okay. Three – negative comments or not, this is still something I love, something that takes a lot of personal dedication and something I am passionate about.
After that I promised myself that I wouldn’t pay any attention to the negativity. I would keep working at what I love, working to get better and perfect the craft a little more each day. I would write for me and for the readers who find value in what I do.
Now it helps me to remember a stranger’s opinion of me does not determine my value or worth – it’s a mantra I go back to time and time again. This is something I feel pretty strongly about now so it comes up in a variety of ways in my blogging too. Previous posts on this: No One Deserves To Be Made Fun Of and Am I Pretty or Ugly?
Kimberlee of I Have A Degree In This:
The Internet can be a scary place and people can be mean. As a little person, I know all too well. I was hesitant to post pictures of myself when I first began my blog. However, with the support of friends I’ve made in the blogging community I did. Thankfully most of the comments have been wonderful in the nearly 5 years I’ve been blogging. So when those negative ones do come, I take them with a grain of salt. I see other bloggers go through the same struggle and I joke “you haven’t made it until you get your first negative comment” lol.
You can’t please everyone. Don’t take it personally because it will start to effect you. Focus on the positive or try to kill them with kindness. It also took me awhile to delete negative comments because I wanted people to speak freely. Now I delete comments that aren’t contributing to the conversation such as “I don’t like your hands” when I post my manicure. I don’t feel guilty about it because that person clearly didn’t put a lot of effort into that comment so I’m not going to let it sit on my blog. I also invite you to share your struggle on your blog (even if you’re a style blogger) and I’m sure you will be overwhelmed with the warm response. While the Internet can be a scary place, it can also be a really cool one too.